Therapist Session today.....Lots of stuff to "work on" It is so hard to stay focussed on all that I need to do. I am a planner, a thinker and an analyzer. If I haven't come up with at least ten scenarios to one particular idea then I am a mess. The question of "what if" leaves me awake at night. Tonight is designated as no computer night to spend with my husband Chris. He is supposed to come up with ideas of things to do together that he thinks I will like. Conversely, I get Monday night to do the same for him. This is our compromise to spend time together and, hopefully, mend the rift that has grown between us. I am reading "The Dance of Intimacy" as prescribed by my therapist. It has so much information in each sentence. It is incredibly overwhelming. I find myself rereading phrases and trying to visulize them in my life. Right now, I am considering the "I" and "we" factors in a relationship. Each partner has the "I" which is enveloped by the "we". Each time you make a change to the "I", the "we" effects a change as well. This worries me. I have already begun to change some things I don't like about myself, which has drastically effected my marriage. And, I still have so far to go, I worry about the upheaval this will cause in the future. However, I can't just ignore my needs for the sake of the "we". I've done that far too long as it is. OH well..... small steps. Tiny itty bitty baby steps... Like Chicago. Yeah that isn't large or anything. At the end of May, I shall be venturing into the unknown, which historically has scared the crap out of me. I have never travelled alone in my life. There is a Clan Lord gathering. I have purchased my airline tickets, without any assistance on my husband's part. Woohoo I hear the independant bells chiming. I look forward to more of these experiences. Next step is getting hotel reservations. And, I think I will work on my credit history by getting my own credit card. Look out world....here comes a lunatic and she is on a rampage!