Birthday Blues. Twelve years later and my husband still can't understand how important birthdays are to me. He can't even take the time to get me a card. I feel like the lonliest person in the world here. A phrase from one of my favorite movies keeps rolling around in my head. It's from Practice Magic with Sandra Bullock and Nicole Kidman. Sandra's character, Sally is writing to her sister, Gillian (Nicole Kidman) after trying to heal from her husband's death.

Dearest Gilly, Sometimes I feel there is a hole inside me. An emptiness that, at times, seems to burn. I think if you lifted my heart to your ear, you could probably hear the ocean. And the moon tonight, there's a circle around it, a sign of trouble not far behind. I have this dream of being whole. Of not going to sleep each night wanting. But still, sometimes when the wind is warm or the crickets sing, I dream of a love that even time will lie down and be still for. I just want someone to love me. I want to be seen. I don't know. Maybe I've had my happiness. I don't want to believe it but there is no man, Gilly, only that moon.

Only a moon for a lunatic, how fitting.