Hello again.
It's me, but different. I read over these old entries and marvel at how things have changed.I'm divorced now. Failure or victory. The jury is still out from day to day. I went to court December 8th and signed the documents. It was final 30 days later. I'm in my own apartment. Seven, I mean Two cats are with me. *wink wink* I think I'm finally on my way to being the person I want to be. Here I am, day after day, making decisions and taking care of myself. Truly, I never would have imagined this. I pay bills on time, take out the garbage and do hundreds of silly little things that most people take for granted. Not me. I smile every time I lug a bag of garbage to the dumpster. Because, it's me, but different. The past is still painful and filled with regrets. Circumstance requires I still communicate with the ex. Somedays I believe Chris does everything he can to hurt me. I have to keep telling myself that he can only hurt me now if I let him. Brave words, but not empty ones. This past weekend "V-Day" has been one of the hardest times post-divorce. I've been sick more than I've been in my life the past few months. Stress, worry and depression are a constant battle against my immune system. Maybe once all ties to Chris are cut, this will go away. Meanwhile, I've started my own battles against these factors. Vitamins, exercise and I've got to start meditating more. I promise.I know most of you have wandered away from here. But, I hope you find your way back soon.

I'll be here.